I originally had big plans for this past weekend, but as ever more frequently happens…. I got sick. And had to cancel most everything.
I was supposed to visit the Walters Art Gallery in Baltimore, see the tall ships at the Sailabration for the War of 1812 bicentenary, and try to find a gluten free bakery that I read about on Friday. Saturday dad I were wanted to go on our longest ride yet, and then I was going to go to historic Ellicott City with my mom (I live in Howard County but I’ve never been), and then Sunday, for fathers day, I was planning to go to church with my dad, go out for lunch, and then just hang out and go for a normal bike ride for the rest of the day.
Hardly any of that happened, because I had a sinus infection that made my existing flareup that much worse. So much for all the progress I had made. So I spent three miserable days unable to breathe, not eating, achy, feverish, bored out of my mind… blah blah blah. Y’all know what getting sick feels like.
I’m just getting frustrated because it seems like more and more of my days are like that, and the amount of healthy time that I get is so limited now. Sometimes I think I’ve got it figured out, but then I realize I’m still totally out of my league. It’s really hard on my body to always be sick or trying to recover, and it’s really hard on my family as well. My mom and dad do such a great job taking care of me, but I can tell how stressed and worried they are about all of this. It can be hard to appreciate my good days but I need to remember how precious they are and how much my family means to me.
Luckily, I did get to hang out with my dad some today. I wasn’t well enough to go out for church or lunch, but he liked the pistachio and peach truffles I found him (we share really weird taste in food), and we played bananagrams with my brother, cooked dinner, and went on a 10 minute bike ride (first time out since Thursday). I kind of had a breakdown near the end of the ride, because I was just so exhausted and angry at my body for sucking, and I was mad that I couldn’t do more, but I’m over it now. Tomorrow we’re going to try for 20 minutes, or however much I can do without overdoing it.
Sorry for the rant, guys. I hope I don’t sound too whiny, but I’m trying not to say any of these things aloud because I don’t want to hurt my family, who cares so much about me. It feels really good to be able to write/type some of those feelings out.
Here’s to adversity, and not letting UC define me. UC isn’t me.